At 67, David Thompson had run engineering projects worth millions. Yet six months into retirement, he struggles to find purpose in his days. Meanwhile, his neighbour Sarah, who retired from teaching at 63, has joined three volunteer groups and started pottery classes. Their contrasting experiences reflect a striking pattern emerging from retirement research: women consistently outperform men in adapting to life after work, despite facing greater financial challenges throughout their careers.
The Stark Gender Divide in Retirement Mental Health
Recent research reveals a troubling pattern. Men who retire show significantly higher depression scores compared to their employed counterparts, whilst women’s depression scores remain largely unchanged after retirement. Studies have found considerable differences in depression rates amongst men who retired – 24% compared to 6% of currently employed men – whilst little difference exists in depression levels amongst women.
Despite earning less over their lifetimes, women tend to retire earlier than men, with the average retirement age for men in 2025 being 65 compared to 63 for women. Yet paradoxically, they fare better emotionally in this transition.
The statistics paint a concerning picture for male retirees. A comprehensive meta-analysis found that 28% of retirees experience depression, but the burden falls disproportionately on men. Studies show that men find it harder than women to adapt to retirement, putting them at greater risk of identity and meaning loss, which may reduce subjective well-being and increase the risk of depression.
Why Women Navigate Retirement More Successfully
Different Relationship with Work Identity
The fundamental difference lies in how men and women construct their identities around work. As breadwinners, men consider work to have a central role in their lives and have a much more continuous employment career. Women, as homemakers, typically leave the workforce because of marriage or the birth of their children.
This means women have already navigated major life transitions and identity shifts, making retirement less jarring. They’ve developed coping mechanisms for role changes that serve them well in later life.
Superior Emotion Regulation Strategies
Women more often use cognitive reappraisal as an emotion regulation strategy, whilst men more often use suppression. Higher suppression was related to higher depression scores, whilst higher cognitive reappraisal was related to lower levels of depressive symptoms.
Women’s tendency to process emotions actively rather than suppress them proves beneficial during retirement’s emotional upheaval. They’re more likely to seek social support and discuss their feelings, creating healthier adjustment patterns.
Broader Social Networks and Support Systems
Women traditionally maintain stronger social connections outside of work. The people in longitudinal studies who were happiest in retirement were those who found ways to replace social connections from work with other playmates, whether in volunteer activities, civic organisations, golf groups, or bridge partners.
Women often excel at maintaining family relationships and friendships independently of workplace connections, providing a ready-made support system for retirement years.
The Male Retirement Crisis: Understanding the Struggle
Loss of Purpose and Status
Your sense of self takes a hit, especially if you left a leadership position. Your ego determines your identity when you work. When you enter retirement, you go into an egoless state. Chairman of the board doesn’t mean a thing when you’re retired.
For men who derived primary identity from professional achievement, retirement represents a catastrophic loss of self-definition. The engineer becomes simply “retired,” stripped of the technical expertise and problem-solving role that once defined him.
Narrower Emotional Expression
Men might be more likely to feel as if their past decisions have limited their future options, whilst women view retirement as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth.
Traditional masculine norms discourage emotional vulnerability, making it harder for men to process retirement’s psychological challenges or seek help when needed.
Involuntary Retirement Impact
More than 50% of men and 30% of women ages 50 and older who retired early reported that poor health, including depression, limited their ability to continue working. Health-forced retirement particularly devastates men’s psychological well-being, as it removes any sense of choice or control from the transition.
The Changing Landscape: Women’s Workforce Participation
The retirement gender gap may be shifting as more women build continuous careers. Women’s prime-age labour force participation rate reached 78.4% in August 2024, narrowing the gap in participation between women and men to the lowest point in three decades.
However, women still earned only 85% of what men earned in 2024, according to analysis of median hourly earnings. This pay gap creates financial challenges that may complicate women’s retirement experiences in future generations.
Building a New Identity: Expert Strategies for Successful Retirement
Start Identity Work Before Retiring
Retiring takes work. It does take time, attention and effort to make it happen in a satisfying way. Begin the psychological transition months or even years before leaving work.
Start by transferring knowledge to younger colleagues, gradually reducing work centrality in your self-concept. This “identity bridging” helps maintain continuity whilst preparing for change.
Cultivate “Identity Bridging” Activities
Identity bridging involves taking some piece of your pre-retirement identity and carrying it with you across the retirement bridge into retirement. This might mean consulting in your former field, mentoring young professionals, or applying work skills to volunteer roles.
Develop Social Connections Early
Those who socialise on a regular basis before they retire are more likely to maintain at least some of those relationships in retirement. Begin building friendships and community connections outside work whilst still employed.
Consider joining clubs, volunteering, or pursuing hobbies that connect you with people who share non-work interests. These relationships become crucial support systems during retirement.
Create Structure and Purpose
Even if you’re still figuring out what you want to do with your retirement, try to establish a loose daily schedule. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, schedule times for exercising and socialising with friends.
Without work’s built-in structure, retirees must create their own rhythms and routines. This prevents the aimless drifting that often leads to depression.
Embrace Meaningful Roles
Social role interventions may improve health and well-being for people in retirement transition. Interventions providing explicit roles and using supportive group structures were effective in improving life satisfaction, social support and activity, physical health and activity, functional health, and cognition.
Seek roles that provide purpose, whether through volunteering, part-time work, or community involvement. The key is finding activities that make you feel needed and valued.
Practical Steps for Building Your New Life
Financial Foundation First
Less than half of surveyed women aged 25 and above have saved for retirement, with approximately one-third expecting that their retirement income will not cover monthly bills. Ensure financial security before addressing psychological needs, as money worries exacerbate retirement depression.
Health as Priority
Physical exercise is a very effective way to boost your mood, relieve tension and stress, and help you feel more relaxed and positive as you get older. Maintain physical health through regular exercise, proper nutrition, and preventive healthcare.
Technology for Connection
Technology can help you keep up with old connections and make new friends too. Using the Internet is often more accessible for people who might struggle to get out of the house due to a disability or health condition.
Learn to use video calling, social media, and online communities to maintain relationships and discover new interests.
Professional Support When Needed
Among adolescents and adults with depression, 87.9% reported at least some difficulty with work, home, and social activities because of depression symptoms, and only 39.3% received counselling or therapy from a mental health professional.
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if retirement transition becomes overwhelming. Counselling can provide strategies for managing identity shifts and depression.
The Way Forward: Redefining Retirement Success
The traditional model of retirement as a complete withdrawal from productive life is outdated. Men predominantly transitioned from full-time to mid-time voluntary retirement, whilst women experienced more gradual involuntary retirement, suggesting that flexible retirement approaches may benefit both genders.
Successful retirement isn’t about endless leisure – it’s about creating a meaningful life that provides purpose, connection, and personal growth. The assessments of what brings you pleasure and what you are passionate about become the foundation for moving forward in carving out the new you and your new identity.
For men especially, retirement success requires abandoning the notion that worth comes solely from professional achievement. It means developing emotional intelligence, building diverse relationships, and finding new sources of meaning and identity.
The forlorn figure on the bench outside the shop needn’t represent retirement’s reality. With proper preparation, social support, and willingness to embrace change, both men and women can create fulfilling post-career lives. The key lies in understanding that retirement isn’t an ending – it’s a beginning of a new chapter that requires just as much planning and effort as any career ever did.
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