Clarkson Unleashes Classic Rant Over Controversial Trade Pact
Outspoken broadcaster and former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson, 65, has never been one to mince words. Now, in a fiery new column, he’s directed his trademark sarcasm and scorn at none other than Donald Trump—taking aim at the freshly announced UK-US trade deal and ripping into its perceived shortcomings with blistering precision.
Writing in his latest op-ed, Clarkson mocked the transatlantic agreement as a lopsided deal that offers little for Britain, while flooding the UK with low-quality food and gas-guzzling vehicles. The trade pact, signed by President Trump and UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer, was hailed by political backers as a “historic” moment in post-Brexit economic policy.
But Clarkson wasn’t impressed.
“We will be allowed to buy terrible left-hand-drive cars that are far too big for our roads,” he wrote, dripping with sarcasm.
“We’ll be able to eat chicken that tastes vaguely of a swimming pool and beef that’s so full of chemicals, we’ll wake up in the morning with two heads.”
Full quotes available via GB News
His scathing commentary comes amid rising concern over food standards, environmental regulations, and the overall value of UK trade negotiations post-Brexit. While leaders have championed the pact as a stepping stone to deeper economic ties with the U.S., critics like Clarkson argue that the real-world impacts could be far less appetizing.
What Clarkson Really Said: “Steel Exports? We Have One Plant Left!”
Beyond food imports, Clarkson didn’t stop there. He turned his attention to what many have called a “victory” for British exports: the deal’s provision to eliminate tariffs on UK-made steel heading to the U.S.
But Clarkson wasn’t buying it.
“We are told we will now be able to export all the steel we make to America. But we only have one steel plant left in this country and all it made last year was a knife and fork.”
It’s classic Clarkson—part satire, part brutal truth. His critique taps into a broader narrative about Britain’s shrinking industrial base and questions whether the trade agreement genuinely benefits the UK in measurable terms.
Explore full trade deal summaries at Gov.uk
His comments come just as UK officials hailed the agreement for unlocking new markets in sectors like automotive manufacturing, finance, and green technology. However, critics argue these benefits are abstract and may take years—if not decades—to materialize, while the food and agricultural compromises are immediate and visible.
Clarkson’s blend of ridicule and realism cuts through political soundbites and forces the average reader to ask: are we really getting a fair shake from this so-called “special relationship”?
“King Donald the First”: Clarkson’s Boldest Idea Yet
In a particularly cheeky twist, Clarkson ended his tirade by offering what may be his most outrageous proposal yet—suggesting that Donald Trump be made “King of America.”
Why? Because, according to Clarkson, the U.S. presidency has devolved into a spectacle of madness, producing only “lunatics” unfit to govern a global superpower.
“He could call himself King Donald the First and make people bow when they meet him. I think he’d like that a lot.”
Clarkson argued that transforming the presidency into a ceremonial role, akin to the British monarchy, might save American politics from itself.
For context on Clarkson’s previous political jabs, explore his columns at The Times
Though clearly tongue-in-cheek, the suggestion underscores Clarkson’s deep skepticism of modern populist politics, especially those emerging from the U.S. in recent years. While Trump remains a divisive figure globally, his role in the trade deal makes him a target for British commentators who see the agreement as skewed.
Clarkson’s tone may be humorous, but the undertone is serious: democracy and diplomacy are under stress, and bad deals might be the result.
UK-US Trade Deal: What’s Really in It for Britain?
So, what does this UK-US trade agreement actually include? According to official government briefings, the deal aims to:
- Eliminate tariffs on British cars, steel, and whisky
- Increase U.S. agricultural exports like poultry and beef to the UK
- Provide more market access for UK tech and financial services
Supporters argue that the agreement reflects a deepening post-Brexit alliance between two of the world’s largest economies. Critics—Clarkson among them—see it as a one-sided compromise that weakens UK food standards and offers little upside for British consumers.
Download the full trade deal PDF from UK Parliament Trade Docs
Among the most controversial elements is the import of chlorinated chicken, a practice banned in the EU. While legal in the U.S., UK consumer groups argue it undermines animal welfare and public health standards.
Clarkson’s “swimming pool chicken” comment encapsulates a broader concern: what are we sacrificing in exchange for trade access?
Public Reaction: Clarkson’s Words Resonate with a Frustrated Nation
Clarkson’s latest rant may be theatrical, but it has struck a chord. On social media, users flooded X (formerly Twitter) and Reddit threads with praise, laughter, and similar skepticism toward the trade deal.
“Clarkson just said what we’re all thinking. Our food standards are being flushed for a handshake with Trump,” one user wrote.
Some even called on politicians to respond, urging lawmakers to clarify how British farmers, manufacturers, and consumers truly benefit from the arrangement.
Even among non-fans of Clarkson’s usual brash persona, there’s growing consensus that his satirical style reflects a real and serious worry: that Britain, post-Brexit, may be signing away its standards for minimal gain.
Follow the trending thread at Twitter UK Politics
As the trade deal moves forward, one thing is clear: Clarkson has once again used his platform to amplify national sentiment—and this time, the punchline might just carry political weight.
