Christopher Dalby launched vile tirade in packed Southampton pub – then blamed ‘autism’ for racist abuse that left victim in tears
A controlling boyfriend who imposed a racist “no black men” rule on his open relationship exploded in a torrent of vile abuse when his girlfriend dared to defy him, a court heard.
Christopher Dalby, 47, had struck a twisted deal with partner Amber Gilfoy that allowed them both to see other people – but with one sickening caveat: she was banned from sleeping with black men.
When the bigot discovered she’d broken his racist rule by bedding a man known only as Mr Marshall, he launched into an expletive-filled tirade in front of shocked pub-goers in Southampton.
The racist thug has now been hauled before the courts after his shameful outburst left an innocent woman in tears, forcing her to relive childhood trauma.
The night racism reared its ugly head
Southampton Crown Court heard how Dalby’s mask slipped on that fateful August evening at The Social bar, where he’d already downed four pints.
The defendant was drinking with girlfriend Miss Gilfoy and her friend Safia Uddin around 10pm when Mr Marshall – the man who’d unknowingly violated Dalby’s racist relationship rule – walked through the door.
What happened next shocked everyone present. Dalby erupted in a string of racist slurs directed at Mr Marshall, his voice carrying across the packed pub as horrified patrons looked on.
Innocent friend becomes target
But Dalby’s rage wasn’t satisfied with just one victim. In his alcohol-fuelled fury, he turned on Ms Uddin – whose only crime was being there as Miss Gilfoy’s friend.
The court heard how Dalby hurled anti-South Asian slurs at the terrified woman before physically pushing her, requiring locals to step in and separate them.
Ms Uddin was reduced to tears by the unprovoked attack, which didn’t end when they left the pub. Dalby later bombarded her with abusive Facebook messages, continuing his campaign of racist harassment.
‘Like a scared child again’
In a heartbreaking victim impact statement, Ms Uddin revealed how Dalby’s abuse had reopened old wounds from racist bullying she’d endured as a child.
That night changed things for me,” she told the court. “Being called this took me right back to a place as a scared child. I immediately broke down in tears.”
Her powerful words laid bare the lasting damage of racist abuse – how a grown woman was transported back to her most vulnerable moments by one man’s hatred.
The pathetic excuses
When finally forced to face justice, Dalby trotted out a litany of excuses for his disgusting behaviour. He claimed to suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression, and even had the audacity to blame an “autism meltdown” triggered by the crowded pub.
His defence lawyer Lisa Bowles told the court her client was “absolutely mortified” and “ashamed and embarrassed” by his actions – hollow words that ring false given the premeditated nature of his racist relationship rules.
Judge sees through the lies
Judge Dan Pawson-Pounds wasn’t buying Dalby’s sob story, dismissing his attempts to shift blame onto his victim.
“I am not impressed with your argument that her actions left you no choice – that is nonsense,” the judge told the defendant firmly.
Despite the severity of his crimes, Dalby – who now lives in Ash, Surrey – escaped with a slap on the wrist: a 12-month community order with 25 rehabilitation days and a paltry £200 fine.
The twisted ‘agreement’ exposed
Perhaps most disturbing is what this case reveals about the toxic dynamics in Dalby’s relationship. What kind of “open relationship” comes with racist restrictions? What kind of partner thinks they have the right to control who their girlfriend can sleep with based on skin colour?
This wasn’t a relationship agreement – it was racist control masquerading as modern dating. Miss Gilfoy’s decision to break this vile “rule” wasn’t a betrayal; it was an act of defiance against bigotry.
A community responds
Credit must go to the locals at The Social who stepped in when Dalby’s behaviour spiralled out of control. Their intervention prevented the situation from escalating further and showed that ordinary people won’t stand by while racism unfolds before them.
But questions remain about how someone harbouring such toxic views felt comfortable enough to express them so publicly. Had there been warning signs? Had others enabled his racism by staying silent?
Second chances and stern warnings
Judge Pawson-Pounds gave Dalby one final warning as he handed down the lenient sentence: “I have given you a chance to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Don’t make the court look foolish.”
Whether a racist who imposed segregation rules on his own relationship can truly change remains to be seen. For Ms Uddin, the scars of that August night will take far longer to heal than Dalby’s community order will last.
The case serves as a stark reminder that racism isn’t always found in anonymous online trolling or far-right rallies – sometimes it’s sitting right next to you at the pub, waiting for an excuse to show its true colours.
