Growing numbers of young people are embracing the term ‘greysexual’ to describe their limited or conditional sexual attraction, as online communities dedicated to the identity flourish and experts debate whether this represents a new understanding of sexuality or reflects broader anxieties about intimacy.
The Reddit forum r/Greysexuality has attracted more than 8,300 active members, whilst videos exploring the identity have garnered thousands of views across TikTok and YouTube. The trend coincides with mounting evidence that millennials and Generation Z are experiencing what researchers call a “sex recession,” with studies showing dramatic declines in sexual activity amongst young adults.
Greysexual, also sometimes called grey-A, was first used in 2006 on the Asexual Visibility and Education Network to describe the ‘grey area’ between being completely asexual and feeling sexual attraction regularly. Mark, a greysexual YouTuber and podcaster who posts under the handle @notdefining, describes the experience as feeling ‘a bit of sexual attraction’ but ‘to a low degree’, distinguishing it from complete asexuality.
“It helps people to understand that I do experience sexual attraction, I do have sex, I do enjoy sex and sexual fantasies, but I may experience them to a significantly lower degree than most people,” Mark explained, calling the label ‘immensely helpful’.
The emergence of greysexuality as a recognised identity comes against a backdrop of declining sexual activity amongst younger generations. By 2021—so 10 years later—only 30 percent of high school students had had sex, down from 47 per cent in 2011, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data. This represents an enormous shift that predates the COVID-19 pandemic.
Carter Sherman, reproductive health and justice reporter at The Guardian and author of The Second Coming: Sex and the Next Generation’s Fight Over Its Future, interviewed more than 100 young people for her book. She argues that miseducation, pornography, digital disconnection and political pressure have combined to create a climate of ‘fear and shame’ around sex.
I think we’ve already seen a political harnessing of the narrative that Gen Zers are sexless,” Sherman told NPR. We’ve seen talk from the Trump administration about wanting to raise the birth rate, for example.
Scientific research supports the connection between social media use and sexual anxiety. Studies have found that scrolling through “perfect” photos on Instagram can damage young people’s body confidence, which in turn affects their willingness to pursue dating or sexual relationships.
For those identifying as greysexual, the experience varies dramatically between individuals. GLAAD states that people who are greysexual can have very different experiences but will usually experience limited sexual attraction to others. This might include experiencing attraction rarely, feeling it only under specific circumstances, or having low sexual desire despite experiencing some attraction.
The identity gained mainstream attention when singer Tulisa Contostavlos revealed on ITV’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! in November 2024 that she identifies as demisexual, a related identity on the asexual spectrum. “I feel like I’m a bit demisexual. I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone,” the 36-year-old N-Dubz star told campmates, adding she had been celibate for over three years.
Demisexuality is “a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they’ve developed a close emotional bond with them.” The term, like greysexuality, originated within online asexual communities in 2006.
Some experts view the proliferation of identity labels through social media as potentially overcomplicating human sexuality. Others argue these terms provide crucial vocabulary for experiences that have always existed but lacked recognition.
Model and activist Yasmin Benoit, 28, has become a prominent voice for asexual visibility in the UK. She co-founded International Asexuality Day (April 6) in 2021, and in 2022, launched an asexual rights initiative—known as the Stonewall x Yasmin Benoit Ace Project—in partnership with Stonewall. In February 2025, she co-authored groundbreaking research on public attitudes towards asexuality in Britain.
The challenges facing those on the asexual spectrum remain significant. A survey by the Ace Community Census in 2022 found that 43 per cent of people on the asexual spectrum had been told they should try to ‘cure’ themselves. Many report facing discrimination both within and outside LGBTQ+ communities.
healthcare professionals stress the importance of distinguishing between consistent asexual or greysexual identity and sudden loss of sexual interest, which could indicate underlying health issues. The NHS says persistent loss of libido can also be linked to heart disease, diabetes, thyroid problems or the menopause.
Dr Claire, a sexual health specialist at a London teaching hospital, emphasised: “Whilst asexuality and greysexuality are valid orientations representing consistent patterns of attraction, any sudden change in libido warrants medical investigation. We’re seeing more young people comfortable using these terms, which is positive for those who’ve always felt this way.”
The debate around greysexuality intersects with broader concerns about young people’s sexual lives. About 62% of Gen Z said they, and their friends, do not commonly have one-night stands, according to research from The Times polling over 1,000 young people with YouGov. This contrasts sharply with millennials surveyed in 2004, when 78 per cent reported engaging in casual sex.
Abstinence-only sex education has received more than $2 billion in US funding since 2000, though studies show it doesn’t delay sexual activity. Instead, experts point to multiple factors including anxiety, body image issues amplified by social media, and what some call “digital disconnection” despite unprecedented online connectivity.
Mark Thompson, 24, who identifies as greysexual and runs support groups in Manchester, said: “For me, discovering the term was liberating. I’d spent years thinking something was wrong with me because I didn’t experience attraction the way my mates did. Now I know there’s a whole community of people like me.”
Online spaces have proved crucial for those exploring these identities. Beyond Reddit, communities exist across Instagram, TikTok and dedicated forums, offering everything from educational resources to dating advice for those on the asexual spectrum.
However, critics worry about potential over-medicalisation of normal variations in desire. Professor Sarah Mitchell, a psychologist specialising in sexual behaviour at University College London, cautioned: “Whilst these labels can be helpful for some, we must be careful not to pathologise lower libido or create unnecessary anxiety about perfectly normal fluctuations in sexual interest.”
The conversation reflects shifting attitudes towards sex and relationships amongst younger generations. Gen Z women are being sold a risky dream: the realities behind ‘investing’ in designer bags like the Hermès Birkin, with many prioritising financial security and personal development over romantic relationships.
As debates continue about whether young people are experiencing a genuine shift in sexuality or responding to societal pressures, those identifying as greysexual maintain their experiences are real and deserve recognition. The growing visibility of these identities suggests a generation more comfortable discussing the nuances of attraction—or its absence—than ever before.
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